A whole new world

Recently a dear fren smsed me and called me a MOT. It took me awhile to realise she was calling me a "Mom of Three"! Yeah! That's what I am now! The last 5-ish weeks have been a whirlwind of busi-ness, with a substantial dosage of sleep-deprivation. The arrival of our darling Evangeline has been much anticipated. But once again, no amount of preparation is sufficient for us to say we're fully prepared for her. Cos it sure does feel like Alan and I are first-time parents all over again!

It started with the euphoria of meeting her. At first sight, she sure looks like Megan - sans the dimples. :) I love the sight of her. Her cheeks, her little button nose, her cute little chin and those big eyes. Love it.

Then the much-dreaded confinement. Hate it, everything about it. I love my mom's homecooked food very very much. But despite the fact that she tried her best to normalise the gingerised food, they just didn't do much for my appetite.

Hormones. Once again, these fellas had a field-day in my system. I didn't tell many people, but when I had Megan, I went into a pretty serious stage of post-natal blues. I distinctively remembered standing at the grills of my balcony with a newborn that wouldn't stop wailing away. I was in pain physically as my wound took a looong time to recover and I was not succeeding at breastfeeding. I had a twinge of desire to want to just pop her off the balcony windows. And thank God He restored sense in me just in the nick of time.
That episode stuck to my mind till today. Throughout my latter two pregnancies, I had prayed that God will help me to be aware if I were going down that path again. Praying also for His strength to enable and sustain me through this initial phase where every pain feels like it's not going to end.
With Evangeline (Van in short), there had been some nites where her crying didn't stop too, despite being fed, changed, patted, cuddled, everything I practically know to do in the mommy's dictionary. I did look through my window grills in the dark of these nites and the scene I mentioned came to mind again and I moved my body to the opposite end of the room, away from the windows. Post-natal depression can be so real, and scary.

Breastfeeding successes - everyday successes. I remember when I was attempting to breastfeed Joseph after not succeeding with Megan, a dear friend told me something I still hold onto today. She said, "Take it one day at a time. If you succeed today, you will nurse him tomorrow. If not, it's ok. He needs a happy mommy more than breastmilk." So this is the same mantra I am working on for Van. After the initial latching on and engorgement difficulties (plus a breast-infection episode), I can finally say I am enjoying being a nursing mom. I successfully breastfed Joe for 9 months. Let's see how long I can hold out for Van. :)

Well, it's alot learning and relearning in my new role as a "MOT"!

Introducing our little baby girl...

Extra Pair of Hands

I've never had a maid/helper before. It wasn't only till last year, when I was coping with working part-time, being pregnant and looking after Meg and Joe that I decided to engage the help of a part-time helper who came once a week. With XQ around, it already took Alan and I a preeeeety long time to get used to her... I dunno why, but we felt a tad pai-seh to get someone to clean up our mess and scrub our toilets. We felt bad and on certain days, we dreaded her coming. haha... weird thinking huh.

We've finally gotten used to seeing her once a week, we've also gotten alot more acquainted with her. She and I talk very well, about kids, about school, about our hometowns. And now, we've got to let her go cos we realised that the needs of our lifestyle at the moment requires something more than just weekly heavy-duty scrubbing around the house.

So, in comes Wanti. Our Indonesian helper who's arrived for three weeks now. I find myself going through the same process of dreading her arrival, feeling pai-seh. And in addition, because she is s stay-in helper, we've got to arrange her sleeping and other living arrangements. I asked quite a number of friends for tips of living and interacting with their domestic helpers. Not that I think I will end up abusing her (!), but I just wanna make life pleasant mutually. I also needed to understand the boundaries to draw, so that I don't become an "ATM" employer.

The first few days of her arrival, I was so not used to having a stranger around the house that when she called me "Mom", I had actually unknowingly ignored her. OOPS. There were some habits to undo - as she had worked for my in-laws for the last 7 years. The good thing is that Meg and Joe know her and can communicate with her, so that was one big obstacle out of the way.

Alan has to be appropriately dressed at home now, haha. We have to make sure there's always a loaf of bread in the breadbox for breakfast. And because Wanti's a Muslim, I ought to be more culturally sensitive when I bring her out for meals and when I need her to cook a pork dish.

I'm still feeling pressured that I am now responsible for another human being. Like when I go out in the afternoons, I need to make sure she has food to cook for her own lunch and she can expect me home by what time. Alan has had to go to the supermart at night to buy groceries so that Wanti will have fresh produce to cook the next few days. We can't just do a "Nothing in fridge, let's go out and gao tim" anymore.

Looking on the brighter side.
My to-be-ironed laundry pile has not been so thoroughly clear for awhile now. We have been eating homecooked lunches and dinners and therefore have alot more time with the kids and with each other. I don't have to worry about whether the kids' uniforms are washed and ironed in time. My hubby and kids have breakfast laid out for them the moment they finish washing up every morning.

It's a case of give and take, I suppose. As much as I am trying to get used to her accent, I'm sure she's trying to get used to mine as well. Not to mention living habits, eating habits, etc.

We will only be having her till July - she is meant to help me through this transition period as we prepare for Evangeline's arrival. In July, she'll be transferred back to my in-laws, her rightful employers. :) Alan thinks I will be so used to having a helper around by then that I will not be able to live without one.

We'll see. :)